Are you not marrying yet?

What is marriage?

Marriage is a socially or ritually recognized union between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between those spouses, as well as between them and any resulting biological or adopted children and affinity (in-laws and other family through marriage).

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Desire to follow the trend

It is normal for us to have desire for marriage in one point of our life. We want to have someone, that we can share stories and doing many great things before we die.

The desire becomes stronger when our friends get married. Thus, we also want to get married quickly so that we will not lose to others. It is becoming a trend for teenagers today to get married quickly. Although most of them successfully withstand with the burdensome of marriage, there is still an alarming rate of divorce among them.

Why did they divorce? They get married because they love each other. They should live together till deaths do them apart. We can say the problems are coming from themselves.

They are married when they are not ready. Although not all are not behaving like this, many of them just want to marry to follow the trend and to abstain themselves from the wrongdoings. Take pictures and upload to the social media, so they can brag themselves to others.

They lost the fundamental of marriage.

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Preparation

Man and woman are totally different. Basically, they got everything different. If this difference is not handled properly, it will lead to a total disaster.

People always prepare themselves materially before getting married. But they forgot to prepare themselves emotionally and attitude. Why emotion and attitude are important for a successful marriage? When the man is angry, the woman should stay calm and not to get angry too. The fire needs water to cool down. Enhance the fire will just lead to the total destruction.

You need to change your bad attitudes before you marry. Do not wait until your marriage for you to become a better person. You have to become a good man/woman with good attitudes. Just like Fatimah and Ali, they are made for each other. They are good person themselves. If you want a good partner, you have to become too. Do not wait for your partner to guide you how to become a good person. You have to guide yourself. If before this you easily become angry, you have to learn how to be more patient. You have to cast aside your ego. And, it is not easy.

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Plan

People always set their target for a short distance aims. They want to get married with a grand wedding. But, what after that? How would you navigate yourself to have a successful marriage?

After the wedding, where will you live? How both of you will support the family? What will you eat every day? When you got child, how would you teach them? How will you support your child? And the questions will keep coming.

You have to build your plan. Even you do not have any someone special right now, you have to build your plan. Do not delay. Set your targets, how to achieve it. Doing that, you have broadened view regarding your life. You will minimize the problems arising later.

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There is no guaranteed you will marry your first love or your lover right now. Although you are in love with them for years, you still have the probability to marry another person. That is how life works.

You cannot give everything to your lover before both of you marry. If you are giving everything, what is sweetness of marriage then? You do not have to call “sayang” and messaging all the time. Instead, set the gap and build the trust.

If both of you are destined for each other, then let it be and not being exaggerated. You are still not married yet.

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Marriage is not easy. If you take it lightly, you will face many difficulties later. You are dealing with another person for the rest your life. You have to give and lose, to gain something. You cannot be selfish, and always win yourself. You have to selfless and ready to sacrifice, to have a successful marriage.

It is not easy, but it is not impossible.

And, if you are still not married, be grateful. It is a blessing. You still have time to change yourself to become a better person, for a better and successful marriage later.